|Posted by Shantae Sexy on March 1, 2013 at 9:15 PM|
So the topics of coverage lately has been focused on relationships, love life and in general communication. This particular column is designed to expose the initial warning, red flag signs of a cheater.
Many relationships end because someone cheats. Whether they assume their mate is the one and tries to repay them or if they just want to be first, so not to feel like the sucker in the end.
Cheating leads to many problems such as broken homes, murder, suicide, rape, lying, abuse, sexually transmitted disease/infection, unwanted childbirth/pregnancy,changes in health and decisions for life, as well as many other unspoken of downfalls.
Did You Even Know? For the record, cheating is a form of domestic abuse.
What brings a cheater to cheat? Well many cheaters believe they have valid excuses for their decisions, while others do it for fun or because they can easily get away with it. Cheaters tend to cheat with many things in life, even how to survive on a daily basis. Which may be the reason people cheat in the first place. They’ve experienced something negative in life and feel that in order to not go through it in the future, they'd rather try to outsmart the situation at hand.
People who cheat are unhappy with their life and the choices from some point in life that they've made. In most cases, the person being cheated on hasn't caused the cheater to do so. It's mainly from a cheater's own thoughts of what could hopefully make them happy and also stems from greed; wanting to have everything that seems to be available to that person.
Cheaters however always get cheated on and the more they cheat in retrospect, the more they'll get cheated on in life. Unfortunately, you don't have to BE a cheater to get cheated on, sometimes cheaters use others who are likely NOT to cheat as practice. It builds their esteem to further cheat and they usually get the benefits of a real relationship in the meanwhile. The only bad part is, it excites the cheater to cheat even more, with their mind focusing in on how to outsmart the situation to avoid certain consequences and outcomes the next time around.
Though cheaters have plenteous reasons to do the things they do and though most find their reasons to be valid, there are 5 distinctive signs that can alert you that someone is a "cheater".
In no way is this article accusing or predicting anyone's personal life experience. The sole purpose is to raise awareness so you can make good decisions about what relationship is best for you.
If you or someone you know is in a situation where a mate/partner Is cheating, just remember that you don't deserve to be mistreated by anyone for any reason.
So, someone's being secretive... Is it they're ashamed to be with you? You're not allowed to be in places they happen to be? Or are you ready to consider some harsh reality? Your mate is cheating! Yes, there are some common situations of places a mate may not want their their mate to go to with them (ie. Work,school, etc.) , but what about if they choose to not tell you where they're going and what they really plan to be doing? A secretive partner is the top hint of a cheater, someone who's not fully committed to you. Remember a secret is something being held back because it could alter or ruin a situation.
If you come into such a situation you deserve to clarify any unsurities. Ask what is on your mind. If no answer, no matter who the situation involves, you deserve to know the truth. Even if it isn't that your mate is cheating you shouldn't ever be left in the dark about anything you and your partner have going on in life.
It's unhealthy to keep secrets, one can be led to create answers to their own thoughts, which may not be beneficial . Sometimes people go to who they think is a reliable source, who always will steer that persons mind in their own best interest. If you've had no problems talking about things in times past but suddenly there are secrets, there is someone else or others who your mate would hate to see in the same vicinity at once. Don't think for a second it's a pleasant surprise. Surprises always have a pleasant and happy vibe to it.
Now some may say “What if they know their ex may be at a usual hangout and don't want no problems to start up?” Get real! An “ex” is that for a reason and if your mate isn't ready to go public with a new relationship, then best believe there's more to it than what you'd like to believe.
Here is one that I actually took from one of my favorite movies, Two Can Play That Game. It's the wanderer. I admit, before seeing this movie I didn’t ever consider looking as a sign of a cheater. However, in the movie a particular scene plays out, how it looks when a cheating man is overdoing the whole “looking” thing. Which made me see that it's certainly a cheating thing to do. I haven't had that experience but nowadays the Internet is flooded with new ways for men and women to overlook,if you know what I mean. Now it actually is a lot easier to tell who is a wanderer and more likely to be found a cheater in a relationship. Nowadays even females do this.
It's easy if you see your mate online “liking” many photos especially of people of their sexual preference, you can tell. Even the singles you can tell that they are racking up on who they'd like to add to their players list by being outrageous with Likes and Commentations”.
Now a wanderer is one who is leisurely admiring other possible opportunities for intimacy. Think about it, unless you're swingers, in an open relationship or just not having a good relationship at all and are openly searching a new mate, a normal person would be totally offended seeing their mate wander into a trance over another or others. A person considering or actually pursuing others while in a relationship is a wanderer and will not stop. This person is sizing up their next chance to cheat on you and it would only be a matter of time.
So if you're in public together and your mate can't help but to be totally distracted by the same or opposite sex , do accept that if you weren't around, that the possibilities are endless.
Deception, the art of deceiving and one of the biggest characteristics of a cheater. Remember not all cheaters are proud to cheat in life. So they prefer to deceive you, by filling you up with thoughts of the type of person they are and what they have in life. They may lie about their material possessions, how they live and what they are accomplishing in life. Anything to get you to think they are incapable of cheating ,to loop you into what they do to you and others. If your mate has deceptive behavioral patterns they most likely are covering up and hiding who and how they really are. Even if you're in public and your mate tries to deceive a person in general, stop and accept that if they see it fit to deceive another for any reason, they may also see is as nothing to do the same towards you as well.
Excuses, excuses, excuses... People make excuses but for what? A full grown adult should be able to take full accountability for their actions and decisions. Well not cheaters, a typical cheater makes excuses when they're trying to cover their true intent to cheat. What person in their right mind would stay with someone they are completely certain is cheating on them? Think about it, the typical beginning of a cheating relationship...When your mate pursued you they wanted all of your time and give as much of their time as possible . Now suddenly they're too busy for anything that involves you.
So what more proof do you need? Yes, we live in a busy world but seriously, no one is too busy to respond and a person who is still interested in you will always find a way to make time. It's called sacrificing and all real committed relationships require that both sacrifice for one another. People take breaks to eat, chat with friends and even to use the restroom. So if all you get are excuses, you may be better off excusing yourself from that relationship.
An excuse is just an easy way out. Don't sit around for someone that wants out of a relationship and who's obviously not waiting or thinking about you! Be the stronger one, avoid a big mess and get out of that pretend relationship.
Now sometimes the excuse may actually make some sense, but don't be a fool. Sometimes a cheater is smart enough to cheat with someone who knows enough about you or cheating who gladly helps hand out excuses . This person would even go so far as to find out ways to get money, material and other things from you through your mate or partner. Yes indeedy, it's a crazy world out there.
Lastly, the unexplainable behavioral patterns, such as going away, unable to be reached, unwilling to respond, excuses all for no apparent reason. Well apparently, your mate is hiding out somewhere else with someone else. Arguments about nothing, not the ones that start because of things that are actually taking place and sparks debate... Mainly the things like, “Why are you calling me, I’m busy...” things along that line and not fully communicating to avoid a dispute. The bottom and top line is if it doesn't make sense, if it doesn't add up, you need to find out what's going on, because more than likely your mate is with someone else or highly considering it.
Think about it, if there are problems , you're “in” a relationship, talking things out together is part of a healthy relationship. So do not make excuses for the unexplainables, you have to accept the proof.
So there you have it! Sometimes seeing it laid out in plain sight helps brings yourself to terms with what's going on. Too many people want love and accept this as a relationship. If your mate doesn't include you in their happiness it's because you're not really part of their happiness.
Remember to love yourself first by making sure you do not allow a person to treat you how you wouldn't want to be treated. If your partner doesn't see it as something they need to do then take it as a clear sign.
Here's a Biblical perspective about how Men and Women need to be towards one another. How a woman needs to accept as treatment from a Man and how a Man has to treat a Woman. If you get anything other than that it is a fair warning.
Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
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